Tue, 12 July 2016
When you understand what causes a bird to know how to build a nest, without going to nest building school, you'll have a much deeper understanding of what your purpose is in life.
Your life purpose is inside of you waiting to come out, but our modern world is most likely suppressing it. You don't realize this until you take the time to really reflect on what is inside of you.
This episode will help you explore what your nest looks like, what your dam would resemble and how to let it flow out of you. Listen...
On August 1, 2016, I will be releasing a very special episode of this show. It is my first ever interview episode and we'll be exploring addiction and what we can all learn about it, even if we don't have our own addiction.
You'll learn about discovering our shortfalls, facing the fear or change, and intentionally creating an environment which is conducive to our success.
Don't miss it. Connect now so you'll be notified when it's released:
Wed, 22 July 2015
For years, we’ve been programmed to believe that wanting money isn’t very noble. In fact, having lived most of my life in the Christian sub-culture, I’ve struggled with the idea that money is bad.
When I was 18, I was involved in Multi-Level Marketing and I was turned onto books like Think and Grow Rich, As a Man Thinketh, The Magic of Thinking Big and more. I was given these by Christian leaders in our business… and the books have this quasi-Christian undertone, but …
As I got older and I became more entrenched in the evangelical Christian culture, I heard a different message. It implied … money should be the last thing on which we focus.
Yes, most will say “it’s the love of money…” But as soon as you doing something in an effort to financially improve yourself, you’re made to feel like you’re loving money.
But there was a double-standard that popped up. There was this mixed message that was given.
It Seems Working for Money Is Frowned Upon but Asking for Money is Ok
I can tell you… money isn’t bad when there’s a ministry or organization that needs it. That’s when they go after people with a lot of money; wine and dine them and treat them like gold itself, in order to curry their favor and garner a donation.
I’ve worked in Christian radio for years and been bewildered by the difference in the message between normal days and the days when we’re raising money.
Most days, it’s a message that says life is about a lot more than money and we won’t find any satisfaction in have more money.
Pledge Drive or Share-a-thon days are filled with messages that say “money is the only thing that’s going to keep us afloat” and “we need three more people with a monthly gift of $20 right now.”
We vilify people with a lot of money all year long and then for two weeks we work to gain their favor.
If You Live in the Western World - You’re Rich.
Which makes me wonder, should I be driving around in a $10,000 car (not expensive at all) talking about how working for money is bad or less noble than something else?
I always struggled with the idea that we spend $50 on a night at the movies and convince people they shouldn’t focus on making money. It’s all relative. It all depends on what you believe is normal.
But, is there a permissible norm? If I grew up in a 20,000 square foot home with a parent driving a Bentley, what would I think is “focusing too much on money?"
If you grew up in a public housing project with one car to the family and it was barely running, what would you consider is “focusing too much on money?"
Isn’t it all relative? To one person a brand new Toyota is sacrificing and to another person this is a grand luxury.
So, What Does it All Come Down To?
It comes down to your heart.
All these moral rules we’re give are NOT about segregating those who will die and go up versus those who will die and go down. It’s just not…
All this morality we find about not loving money, is to keep us from mentally living in hell right now.
Loving money will leave you frustrated, in turmoil and and tormented by the chase. Love people, love service, love helping those who have a need.
When you do this, the world has a way of rewarding you with all the feelings you hope to get from having money.
Here’s an important distinction - Having money is great. Having money is an indicator you helped a lot of people get what they wanted.
This isn’t the case for everybody, but for someone who does what we said minutes ago, focuses on service and let’s the rewards come on their own, money is a great thing.
Serve More.. Have More.
But, this doesn’t answer my original question of whether WANTING money is wrong.
I honestly don’t think it’s a question of RIGHT vs WRONG.
It’s a matter of whether you’re doing what is healthiest for you. Is wanting a burger wrong? Is wanting a gin and tonic wrong?
If you want a gin and tonic because you’re hoping it will address your internal pain, it’s not WRONG in a good person vs bad-person kind of way, but it’s certainly not the best thing for you, given your needs.
The same goes for foods and yes, shopping.. houses, cars, vacations.
If you are seeking comfort for your soul in what you have, then you are honestly cutting yourself short of the amazing life you can have. Is that being a bad person or a person who is missing something?
Ask Yourself Today, What’s Motivating Me?
Try to shift to a motivation of service. Serve people. Joyously and generously give of yourself to others as they need. Don’t be foolish, don’t give something of value to you to someone who finds no value in it.
This is the scripture that says “Don’t cast your pearls before swine.”
This is just wisdom. It’s not some magical “I’ll make the God-daddy in the sky happy.” The God-man in the sky is nothing but happy. you can’t make our creator more or less happy.
Fri, 3 July 2015
Alan Alda said, “At times you have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.”
My last episode was an example of trusting and following my intuition.
If you go back and listen, you’ll find out there was a major storm I was going through, brought on by a family member who isn’t dealing with some issues in a healthy way.
Quiet Your Mind
I closed my eyes, breathed deep and focused on that breathing.
If you want to tap into your inner thinking you have to slow down and stop all the noise in your life and your head.
Our lives are noisy - phone, TV, radio, podcasts even. We have constant external chatter and we can’t hear the internal voice.
Slow Your Breathing
Take slow and deeper breaths.
This will relax tension in your muscles and allow your blood to flow at a normal rate.
This will also allow the energy within you to flow freely. Call it what you will
Listening to Your Gut
There’s actually a massive network of nerves in your abdominal area.
Scientists call it your enteric nervous system.
It designed to give almost an instant reaction to a situation.
It’s that ‘gut feeling.’
Listen to that feeling. Understand that your head can influence this feeling and that’s why you need to quiet your mind.
You will find peace… you will feel comfort… when you tap into your inner compass, your intuition it will feel right.
Move forward in this area… trust your intuition and move forward.
Great things will happen. Trust it and move forward.
Wed, 24 June 2015
In this episode, we explore the following five quotes from the author James Allen (Wiki Link).
James Allen is the author of As a Man Thinketh (it's free on Kindle).
Here are 5 of my favorite quotes from James Allen:
Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.
The man who thinks hateful thoughts brings hatred upon himself. The man who thinks loving thoughts is loved.
The man who sows wrong thoughts and deeds and prays that God will bless him is in the position of a farmer who, having sown tares, asks God to bring forth for him a harvest of wheat.
The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny.
The outer conditions of a person's life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state...Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.
Wed, 17 June 2015
Events don’t have meaning - We give the events meaning
The meaning of events exists only in our mind. Outside of our mind, the events have no meaning at all.
Our emotional response to events comes from the meaning we give them and the way we FEEL about that meaning. So, given the fact that our emotions are based on our reaction to the meaning of an event and we create the meaning of the event, then we control our emotions.
Peace doesn’t come when we have peace around us, but when we have peace within us.
See, we give events meaning in our minds. Our emotional response to events is based on the meaning they have. So when we have peace within, it doesn’t matter what happens outside of us, we will have peace. Peace is independent of what is happening around us.
Let’s look at how one may react to a particular situation given our internal state.
Saturday morning, you open up your weather app and you see that it’s supposed to be 95 degrees with nothing but sunshine. How do you react to that?
If you were planning on going to the beach and spending some time in the water with your family, that’s a fantastic event. This means the water is going to feel great and the sun will help us get a tan.
If you were planning on pulling out some old tree stumps in the yard, that’s a horrible forecast. It’s going to be hot and the sun is provably going to burn you.
The event is the exact same thing… a weather forecast. The meaning of the event is determined internally.
If you just planted some grass seed and it starts raining, you react with happiness. This will help.
If your lawn needs to be mowed and it starts raining, you react disappointed, as you won’t be able to cut it until tomorrow.
There’s a verse in the the book of Matthew that says the rain falls on those who are good and those who are bad. The rain has no meaning. One sees the rain as good and the other bad. Tomorrow it could be reversed. The rain has no meaning.
Here’s a Personal Example - My View of Myself as Not Good Enough.
I’m in my late 40’s and my entire life, I’ve had a limiting belief that I was inferior to others. I wasn’t as good as my brothers and pretty much anyone else who I worked or lived life with.
I’ve shared this with you before, I’m the youngest in my family and honestly, I don’t have a lot of memories of my parents telling me I wasn’t good enough, but I do have a LOT of memories of that being associated with my older brothers. They’re about a year apart in age. This means, they did a lot of things at the same time. Tying shoes, riding a bike, hitting a baseball and learning to throw a football.
I was 4 and 5 years younger than them which isn’t a big deal at age 47, or even 27, but when you’re 7 and they’re 11 and 12, that’s a lifetime of difference, almost literally twice my age. They had learned twice as much as I had and they were at least twice as good as I was.
Because kids that age were able to go further from the house, our street would often have teenagers playing football or baseball with kids from several streets over. There never were that many kids on my street that were my age. So I was trying to fit in and play with kids who ere almost twice my age.
You can imagine how this made me feel. The one thing everyone valued, throwing or catching a football, or throwing, hitting and catching a baseball, I sucked at. This made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.
My brothers, like a LOT of older siblings, were pretty much forced to watch their little brother if they wanted to go do something. Mom and dad would say keep an eye on your little brother.”
But I wasn’t bad at everything, only the thing that this group was really good at, sports. As I got older, even in middle school, I never wanted to play team sports. I always opted to run laps around the baseball field instead of actually playing baseball. In high school, I didn’t try out for football or baseball, but instead, I joined the track team where I could compete on my own. I was good at running.
I was also good at being goofy and entertaining people. But that wasn’t really valued when you’re trying to beat the kids from the next block over. In fact, it was seen as a negative. “Come on, be serious, focus!”
Focus? I was the "King of Imagination.: I could take my GI Joe Command RV center and play for hours on end in my room. I remember having a rock fireplace and I would take my little army men and have them mount massive battles that would last two or three hours. Focus? That means turning off my imagination.
Imagine if we had a street full of kids all doing a talent show, with magic, juggling, ventriloquism and puppets. How much of an expert would that jock feel like? They can throw a ball, big deal, that doesn’t win you much in a talent show. All of a sudden they would have thoughts like “I’m not good enough."
I Gave Meaning to That Event.
There was no meaning in those footballs games other than the meaning I gave them in my own mind. Because I wanted to fit in with my older brothers and their friends, the meaning of the football game was HUGE. It determined whether I was good enough or not.
This is why it’s SO important to invest in offering your kids activities in which they can do well. Have a boy who loves to dance? Don’t take him to try out for baseball, even if you played it and you can’t wait to coach the team. He’s going to grow up feeling like he’s not good enough, in general.
Have a little girl who loves to build stuff in the garage? Mom, you need to take her to Home Depot for those fun weekend DIY workshops, even though you really wanted to help choreograph the dance recital because you loved to dance.
Know Your Real Identity
To this day, I have moments when I struggle and am influenced by my inability to do the things my siblings and peers are capable of doing.
I will say, I’ve become a LOT stronger than ever and I understand my gifting and where my talents lay. I know my gift is in communications and entertainment, not in piecing together the electronics needed to put on the show or course or whatever.
I’ve become so confident in my own ability in my own areas of expertise that I’m no longer intimidated by the pressures put on my by others. So much so, I was recently told I was being riightously indignant because I wouldn’t allow someone else to tell me I wasn’t as good of a person because I wasn’t talented in the same areas they were talented. It hurt, but I know why it was said. I’m ok with it. But, I’m not going to leave the door wide open to it.
You Are Good Enough
Understand, you may have a very narrow area of talent, but that talent is important if you make it important. Surround yourself with people who don’t value it, and you’ll feel like you’re a worthless excuse for a life.
When you shift over to a group who value your very narrow and specialized gift and you’ll suddenly feel like the world couldn’t go on without you.
My life and my sense of worth changed 180 degrees when I went from working in a lab inventing electronic material compounds to being the goofy sidekick on a morning radio show. I was told I had an amazing talent for connecting with people emotionally and that I would go far with that gift. WHAT? I thought that gift was a burden… at least it seemed like one when PhD’s were in a lab doing experiments and I was cracking jokes. Haha…
Call to Action
So, understand your place and don’t let others values determine your value. Remember, the events in your life have no meaning other than the meaning YOU put on them.
Thu, 11 June 2015
I’m a generally a positive person and I tend to look on the positive side of things in life. It’s odd though, most people who don’t know me think that means my life is without any down times or painful moments.
Nothing could be further from the truth, at least for me.
If you’ve ever thought, “Yeah, I’d be positive too if I was living their life, but I’m not. My life is a mess and I’m the one who messed it up!” Well, good news, ME TOO!
But I’m still positive.
So, as someone who is considered a generally positive person, I want to share with you some truths about us positive happy people that you might not know.
5 Things you didn’t know about positive people.
1. We’re Flawed
Yep, I’ve got a lot to work on in my life still. This is something I openly share on this show all the time. In fact, I’m working to set myself apart from most people who are teaching in the Personal Development space. I want to be very open about the fact that I don’t have it all perfected.
Yes, I’ve studied all of this stuff a LOT more than most people, but honestly, that’s because I have had a lot to figure out about myself.
I guess one difference with me and obviously with you (because you listen to this show) is that we want to get better. If I was just as flawed but didn’t care about getting better, I wouldn’t have learned all I have over the years.
As I say this, I do realize I’m not the same as the masses. I work at getting better, I put what I learn into practice, but that just means I’m going out swinging the bat instead of sitting in the dug out. It doesn’t mean I’m hitting home runs every time.
This is what leads us to number two:
2. We’re Still Good Enough
There are some people who look at the flaws they have, some more than me, some less, and think “I’m doomed. I have nothing to offer the world because I’m pretty dang messed up.”
I remember one of the things I learned years ago when I used to be involved in a multi-level marketing business… the people in the big giant houses with the fancy cars are broke too. They end up with the same amount of money as you do at the end of each month. Most of them.
I used to be intimated by talking to those people until I realized that they needed more money just as much as I did. That’s when I realized I was good enough to talk to them about what I was doing.
Now, I’m not in that type of business any more, but it was a great lesson to learn.
I’m good enough to share with you what I know and you want to know. That doesn’t mean I know more about everything than you do. You probably know more about electrical systems than me. Or you may know more about how to grow your own vegetables than me. But when it comes to what I’m focused on… I’m good enough.
3. Our Life is Flawed
Tony Robbins went through a divorce. Yep, Tony Robbins, the guy who taught people about personal power, went through a divorce. His life isn’t perfect.
I’ve spent years in Christian radio and I’ve met and hung out with all the major artists. I won’t name names, but I will tell you, that guy up on stage singing about how great God is in their life… they’re on anti-depressants because their life is falling apart.
If I turned on my camera on my laptop right now and left it on for 24 hours, you’d probably be a little frightened… not just tomorrow morning when I wake up and look horrible, but you’d see my wife come in and tell me what one of the kids did that day. Or you’d see me composing myself as I try to figure out how I’m going to get everything done that needs to be done today.
Maybe you’d hear us talking about tragedies in our past. Dealing with the after effects of sexual abuse, and betrayal, seeing family members arrested and visiting them in jail. Having other family members say hurtful things about me because they don’t know the whole story. It happens regularly.
But you know what… it happens to everyone. You may not have had to deal with arrests, you may not have had to deal with sexual abuse, but you’ve had to deal with something.
Just like Tony Robbins who had to deal with divorce and the Christian superstar who has dealt with suicidal thoughts. We’re all dealing with stuff.
This is really getting into number four:
4. We Know You’re Flawed Too
See, when I know you’re flawed and I’m open about my flaws, I suddenly become a LOT less judgmental. That’s what helps us be positive.
When I try to hide my flaws and even go so far as to shine a spotlight on your flaws so people won’t notice mine, I tend to always be looking for the negative in others. I have to look for it, or I won’t know where to shine that spotlight when I need it taken off of me.
The most judgement people I’ve met in life are typically the ones who are most frightened you’ll find out what’s wrong with them.
This is why, when we’re open about our flaws, we don’t have to worry about finding yours. In fact, when I’m open about my flaws, you’re a lot more willing to openly share yours. I don’t have to search for them, you serve them up for me. That leads to a much happier life…
When we share our flaws, we also aren’t afraid to admit we need your help, which is number five.
5. We Know We Need Your Help
This comes when we have the first four things down correctly. When I’m open about my flaws, I know you have your flaws, and I also know that because I’m good enough to help you, that means you’re good enough to help me too.
See, this is where we become humble and stop placing ourselves on a pedestal. I feel the personal development world is filled with people who are saying “follow me and I’ll help you be as awesome as I am.” That sounds great initially and they probably build their audience faster than me, but I know that’s going to be short-lived.
If I told you, follow me so you and your life will be as awesome and amazing as mine” in 2 years you'd still be flawed and your life would still had flaws in it. You’d think I was a horrible teacher and you’d move on to the next one to promise the "streets of gold."
Instead, I say “let’s go on this journey together. What you learn, I’d like to learn, and what I learn, I want to share with you.”
I need your help to make my life the best I can make it.
Why Bother? If Life Isn’t Better for Me
YES, I truly believe my life today is pretty darn good, but flawless? No way. Better than it was in the past? Well, I certainly handle it a lot better than I did in the past.
Peace in our lives doesn’t come because we have peace around us, it comes because we have peace within us.
We need to realize exactly what I say all the time, we change the world AROUND us by first changing the world WITHIN us. This doesn’t mean we suddenly have butterflies flittering around our head and birds singing over our shoulder, but it means we have a healthy approach towards all that life sends our way.
When that happens, the world tends to throw a lot less crap our way. I believe the energy we put out is the energy we cause the world around us to vibrate with. If you hit a tuning fork on a table, get it humming and then hold it next to one you haven’t hit on the table, it will eventually pick up the vibration and match it. If you’re putting out negative vibrations, the world around you will match it.
Call to Action
Be ok with what’s happened in your life and all the scars and flaws on and around you.
Commit to being open about your life and all what you’ve been through.
Give up the facade we all want to put out in order to seem “good enough."
You’re still good enough.
Yes, if you have things you’re doing which aren’t healthy, stop. But, your past doesn’t determine your worth today.
Be happy… be positive. Life is great and when we start thinking that way, it’s only going to get better.
Thu, 4 June 2015
Please tell me how to make this podcast better by taking a quick survey (less than 3 minutes, I promise).
The Golden Rule - The Vacuum Effect
We’ve all heard of the Golden Rule - Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
When we’re spiritually immature, we think “well, that’s stupid, I’m going to do unto others whatever they do unto me.” "Why should I treat them better then they treat me?"
Because of the Vacuum Effect - This is a phrase I recently heard someone use on another podcast. But, I can not figure out which show and who said it, but it’s not a phrase I created, so I can’t take credit. But I love it!
The vacuum effect basically states - When we give something away, we create a void in our soul, or our spirit where that something used to reside, which creates a vacuum needing to be filled by the same item.
Now, consider the Golden Rule again -
Do unto others what you would have done unto you.
This is why so few of us are able to achieve what we truly desire in life. We hold onto what we want, never giving it away, never creating that vacuum.
Wisdom from Jesus said “With the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and even more."
In Christianity, you’ll also find the concept of sowing an reaping. In a letter from the Christian Apostle Paul, to the new believers in Galatia, he said “God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”
To clarify, from my perspective, this isn’t saying you can’t mock MY God… or make fun of Him or my image of him. It’s saying “you can’t turn your nose up at this reality.” On par with “Gravity can not be mocked.” This is a reality that will impact you whether you believe it or not.
What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. Like it or not.
Now, I know a lot of Christians have a strong aversion to this view of what I just read and that’s ok.
Other faiths teach the same thing. Of course there’s the Buddha’s teaching on Karma. The cause and effect of our past and present actions on our current and future circumstances.
It’s Not Just Money
If you’re thinking “I know some real jerks who do pretty well for themselves.”
Remember, it’s not about the external results, it’s the internal ones as well. Even though they LOOK fine, most of the time, they’re tormented internally. If not now, at some point it catches up.
Having the most isn’t just about money. It’s about peace, it’s about an abundance of love for oneself and those around us.
Call to Action
Create a vacuum of whatever you want today.
It’s like the great Universal bank. Give and you get back with interest.
Thu, 28 May 2015
So much pressure… LIFE purpose. We think this is the meaning of our entire life.
This episode is inspired by a conversation between Lewis Howes of the School of Greatness Podcast and Jay Papisan, the author of The One Thing.
When I was 20, my life purpose was much different than it is now.
Don’t confuse the 50,000 foot view with the 1,000 foot view.
The higher you go, the less defined the image.
Think about a picture of earth from the International Space
Can you make out your state? Your city? Your neighborhood?
But RIGHT NOW, you have to go pick your kid up from school.
What I have to do RIGHT NOW is different from what i have to do in life.
My International Space Station view says my purpose is to love.
Think about it as a cone.
My life purpose is the tip.
The further I get from that, the more wiggle room I have.
What I have to do today, should be in the direction of that tip… love, but it doesn't have to BE the tip.
Like a compass, choose your next step based on where it’s pointing.
As long as you have that arrow defining “NORTH” or “YOUR PURPOSE”, you can explore. Just stay moving in that direction.
What will you do today? This week? This year?
What do you want to do in the next 5 years. (these goals change).
Reset every day, every week, every month.
But keep the compass in your hand so you know if you’ve gotten off course.
But don’t be afraid to explore.
Thu, 21 May 2015
In this episode, I share the information gathered in a study done in the 1970's to find out why people weren't happier as their incomes increased in the United States. Out of this came something called The Easterlin Paradox.
I talk about why we buy things and what we're actually seeking when we do.
Things are never part of you, but experiences are. When you pass-on, you will leave all of your things here on earth, but take everyone one of your experiences with you.
Shared experiences are an incredibly powerful part of all relationships. Because experiences become part of who I am and you're experiences are part of who you are, our shared experiences connect us at a deeper level.
It's incredibly difficult to compare experiences. We do this all the time with "things" we own, but your experiences are unique to you and can't be compared. I discuss why this helps add value to your experiences.
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Wed, 13 May 2015
Having peace with where you are, doesn’t mean you don’t want more.
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