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Mental Mastery Mondays

Helping you win the war within so you can find success in business, relationships, well-being, and life.

Jun 12, 2015

I’m a generally a positive person and I tend to look on the positive side of things in life.  It’s odd though, most people who don’t know me think that means my life is without any down times or painful moments. 

Nothing could be further from the truth, at least for me. 

If you’ve ever thought, “Yeah, I’d be  positive too if I was living their life, but I’m not.  My life is a mess and I’m the one who messed it up!” Well, good news, ME TOO! 

But I’m still positive.

So, as someone who is considered a generally positive person, I want to share with you some truths about us positive happy people that you might not know.  

5 Things you didn’t know about positive people. 

1. We’re Flawed

Yep, I’ve got a lot to work on in my life still.  This is something I openly share on this show all the time.  In fact, I’m working to set myself apart from most people who are teaching in the Personal Development space. I want to be very open about the fact that I don’t have it all perfected.

Yes, I’ve studied all of this stuff a LOT more than most people, but honestly, that’s because I have had a lot to figure out about myself. 

I guess one difference with me and obviously with you (because you listen to this show) is that we want to get better.  If I was just as flawed but didn’t care about getting better, I wouldn’t have learned all I have over the years. 

As I say this, I do realize I’m not the same as the masses.  I work at getting better, I put what I learn into practice, but that just means I’m going out swinging the bat instead of sitting in the dug out.  It doesn’t mean I’m hitting home runs every time.

This is what leads us to number two:

2. We’re Still Good Enough

There are some people who look at the flaws they have, some more than me, some less, and think “I’m doomed. I have nothing to offer the world because I’m pretty dang messed up.”  

I remember one of the things I learned years ago when I used to be involved in a multi-level marketing business… the people in the big giant houses with the fancy cars are broke too. They end up with the same amount of money as you do at the end of each month.  Most of them.

I used to be intimated by talking to those people until I realized that they needed more money just as much as I did. That’s when I realized I was good enough to talk to them about what I was doing. 

Now, I’m not in that type of business any more, but it was a great lesson to learn.

I’m good enough to share with you what I know and you want to know.  That doesn’t mean I know more about everything than you do.  You probably know more about electrical systems than me. Or you may know more about how to grow your own vegetables than me.  But when it comes to what I’m focused on… I’m good enough. 

3. Our Life is Flawed

Tony Robbins went through a divorce.  Yep, Tony Robbins, the guy who taught people about personal power, went through a divorce.  His life isn’t perfect.  

I’ve spent years in Christian radio and I’ve met and hung out with all the major artists.  I won’t name names, but I will tell you, that guy up on stage singing about how great God is in their life… they’re on anti-depressants because their life is falling apart.

If I turned on my camera on my laptop right now and left it on for 24 hours, you’d probably be a little frightened… not just tomorrow morning when I wake up and look horrible, but you’d see my wife come in and tell me what one of the kids did that day.  Or you’d see me composing myself as I try to figure out how I’m going to get everything done that needs to be done today.

Maybe you’d hear us talking about tragedies in our past. Dealing with the after effects of sexual abuse, and betrayal, seeing family members arrested and visiting them in jail.  Having other family members say hurtful things about me because they don’t know the whole story.  It happens regularly. 

But you know what… it happens to everyone.  You may not have had to deal with arrests, you may not have had to deal with sexual abuse, but you’ve had to deal with something.

Just like Tony Robbins who had to deal with divorce and the Christian superstar who has dealt with suicidal thoughts.  We’re all dealing with stuff.

This is really getting into number four:

4. We Know You’re Flawed Too

See, when I know you’re flawed and I’m open about my flaws, I suddenly become a LOT less judgmental.  That’s what helps us be positive.  

When I try to hide my flaws and even go so far as to shine a spotlight on your flaws so people won’t notice mine, I tend to always be looking for the negative in others.  I have to look for it, or I won’t know where to shine that spotlight when I need it taken off of me.

The most judgement people I’ve met in life are typically the ones who are most frightened you’ll find out what’s wrong with them.

This is why, when we’re open about our flaws, we don’t have to worry about finding yours.  In fact, when I’m open about my flaws, you’re a lot more willing to openly share yours.  I don’t have to search for them, you serve them up for me.  That leads to a much happier life…  

When we share our flaws, we also aren’t afraid to admit we need your help, which is number five.

5. We Know We Need Your Help

This comes when we have the first four things down correctly.  When I’m open about my flaws, I know you have your flaws, and I also know that because I’m good enough to help you, that means you’re good enough to help me too. 

See, this is where we become humble and stop placing ourselves on a pedestal.  I feel the personal development world is filled with people who are saying “follow me and I’ll help you be as awesome as I am.” That sounds great initially and they probably build their audience faster than me, but I know that’s going to be short-lived.  

If I told you, follow me so you and your life will be as awesome and amazing as mine” in 2 years you'd still be flawed and your life would still had flaws in it. You’d think I was a horrible teacher and you’d move on to the next one to promise the "streets of gold." 

Instead, I say “let’s go on this journey together. What you learn, I’d like to learn, and what I learn, I want to share with you.”

I need your help to make my life the best I can make it.

Why Bother? If Life Isn’t Better for Me

YES, I truly believe my life today is pretty darn good, but flawless?  No way.  Better than it was in the past?  Well, I certainly handle it a lot better than I did in the past.  

Peace in our lives doesn’t come because we have peace around us, it comes because we have peace within us.

We need to realize exactly what I say all the time, we change the world AROUND us by first changing the world WITHIN us.  This doesn’t mean we suddenly have butterflies flittering around our head and birds singing over our shoulder, but it means we have a healthy approach towards all that life sends our way. 

When that happens, the world tends to throw a lot less crap our way.  I believe the energy we put out is the energy we cause the world around us to vibrate with.  If you hit a tuning fork on a table, get it humming and then hold it next to one you haven’t hit on the table, it will eventually pick up the vibration and match it.  If you’re putting out negative vibrations, the world around you will match it.

Call to Action

Be ok with what’s happened in your life and all the scars and flaws on and around you.

Commit to being open about your life and all what you’ve been through.

Give up the facade we all want to put out in order to seem “good enough."

You’re still good enough.  

Yes, if you have things you’re doing which aren’t healthy, stop.  But, your past doesn’t determine your worth today.  

Be happy… be positive.  Life is great and when we start thinking that way, it’s only going to get better.