Thu, 4 June 2015
Please tell me how to make this podcast better by taking a quick survey (less than 3 minutes, I promise).
The Golden Rule - The Vacuum Effect
We’ve all heard of the Golden Rule - Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
When we’re spiritually immature, we think “well, that’s stupid, I’m going to do unto others whatever they do unto me.” "Why should I treat them better then they treat me?"
Because of the Vacuum Effect - This is a phrase I recently heard someone use on another podcast. But, I can not figure out which show and who said it, but it’s not a phrase I created, so I can’t take credit. But I love it!
The vacuum effect basically states - When we give something away, we create a void in our soul, or our spirit where that something used to reside, which creates a vacuum needing to be filled by the same item.
Now, consider the Golden Rule again -
Do unto others what you would have done unto you.
This is why so few of us are able to achieve what we truly desire in life. We hold onto what we want, never giving it away, never creating that vacuum.
Wisdom from Jesus said “With the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and even more."
In Christianity, you’ll also find the concept of sowing an reaping. In a letter from the Christian Apostle Paul, to the new believers in Galatia, he said “God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”
To clarify, from my perspective, this isn’t saying you can’t mock MY God… or make fun of Him or my image of him. It’s saying “you can’t turn your nose up at this reality.” On par with “Gravity can not be mocked.” This is a reality that will impact you whether you believe it or not.
What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. Like it or not.
Now, I know a lot of Christians have a strong aversion to this view of what I just read and that’s ok.
Other faiths teach the same thing. Of course there’s the Buddha’s teaching on Karma. The cause and effect of our past and present actions on our current and future circumstances.
It’s Not Just Money
If you’re thinking “I know some real jerks who do pretty well for themselves.”
Remember, it’s not about the external results, it’s the internal ones as well. Even though they LOOK fine, most of the time, they’re tormented internally. If not now, at some point it catches up.
Having the most isn’t just about money. It’s about peace, it’s about an abundance of love for oneself and those around us.
Call to Action
Create a vacuum of whatever you want today.
It’s like the great Universal bank. Give and you get back with interest.
Wed, 3 June 2015
I’m obviously still consumed with consuming Jay Papasan’s book, The One Thing. This is like finding a vein of gold and following it to an abundance of riches.
I’m giving you “one year to master 5 things and turn them into habits.”
Most people would go to work immediately, planning their day to include a bit of each one.
THIS IS WHY WE FAIL.
We’re trying to take 5 things all at once and condition our mind to make these regular habits in our life. AND we’re exhausted each day.
In addition to everything else you do, you’re trying to add in five things you’re not used to doing.
The process of learning a new habit consumes so much of our the available power in our prefrontal cortex, we’re completely tapped-out when we’re trying to learn too many things at once.
Within a couple of months, we’re distracted and slowing letting our new desired habits die off.
Now, let’s look at a new approach that will change your life.
A study published by Health Psychology Researcher Phillippa Lally in the European Journal of Social Psychology shows that the average time to form a new habit is 66 days.
This takes into consideration the simpler habit like drinking a glass of water every morning along with the more difficult ones like including daily exercise (at least difficult for me). Average is 66 days.
So, what if you forgot the other 4 habits you had to learn and focus on the one you thought might take the longest, such as learning a musical instrument.
If each of the new desired habits takes an average of 66 days to learn, it will take you (on average) 330 days to integrate all 5 habits. That leaves you 35 days of wiggle room in case one takes a bit longer.
This is why so many of us are failing at so much of what we want to accomplish in life. We’re trying to do it all at once.
Pick the one thing that’s most important to your success… drop the others and stay focused on the ONE THING (see, there’s that book again) until it’s a habit.
Habits take little mental effort. New tasks take tons of effort. Learning something new will tax your mind in a big way.
Doing what you’ve always done is often called a mindless task. It takes little mental power. Think about a drive you take every day. Sometimes you get to work and don’t even remember the drive (unless you’re in Southern California… you remember EVERY morning commute.).
Again, I’m giving you the summary of this. In the book The One Thing, Jay Papasan does a more in depth explanation as to why this happens. There’s a lot of science that goes into it.
Listen, you can spend the next year trying to master 5 new habits, end up frustrated you didn’t accomplish any of them, or you can drop 4 of them for the next 66 days while you master the first one and then be excited in a year when all of them are mindless habits.
What ONE THING are you going to turn into a habit over the next 66 days?
Wed, 3 June 2015
What is the Pereto Principle?
You may not have heard of the Pereto Principle, but just about everyone has heard of the 80/20 rule. 80% of the failures in a project are caused by the top 20% of the errors.
Focus on the 20% and you’ll take care of almost all of the failures.
It’s something I used all the time when I worked as an engineer in electronic materials.
Originally, the principle came of out wealth distribution among a given population.
Most businesses will find that 80% of their sales come from just 20% of their customers. They focus on super serving this 20%.
Basically, 80% of the effect in anything is brought on by 20% of the cause.
Vilfredo Pereto showed that about 80% of the land in Italy, at the time, was owned by 20% of the population. Pareto went on to note that 80% of the peas in his garden came from 20% of the pods.
How Pereto Came to Productivity
I have to give credit, once again, to Jay Papasan, the co-author, along with Gary Keller, of The One Thing. I’ve been listening to it this past week and when I heard this technique, I knew I had to put it into practice and share it with you.
I suggest you pick up The One Thing so you get the full grasp of what Jay is teaching, but I’ll give you the summary of it all.
You can also get it for free with the Audible App
How to Pereto Your Productivity
You probably have a very large to-do list associated with a specific project.
So, what should you work on first? This is where the Pereto principle comes into effect.
Determine what is your ultimate desired outcome. Maybe you’re building a website
Brainstorm and list everything that needs to be done to get that website launched. Everything
Now go through and start to sort the items based on how much they’ll impact the final outcome.
You’ll eventually notice that about 20% of the items will impact 80% of the final result.
You’ll now know exactly what you need to focus on first.
You can use this with just about any project
Drive the Pereto Deep by "Peretoing" your results
So, that gives you the biggest items, but what do you work on NOW?
Simply take that 20% and sort it again, so you can determine the 20% of the 20% which will give you the TOP 4% of your tasks which will produce the absolute biggest impact to the final desired outcome.
If 4% is still too broad of a focus, simply Pereto it out again, until you have a very clear idea of what needs to be done right now.
Pereto on Many Levels
If you’re like me, you have numerous projects on your desk at any given time. Obviously, if you focus on the top 20% or even top 4% of each project, you’ll never complete them. Sure, you’ll be 90+% of the way there, but you’ll never really finish.
So, you may have to Pereto your project.
Given your overall business goals, which projects are the most important?
Find the top 20% of the projects and you’ll probably have 80% of your business goals taken care of.
Use the Pereto Principle to sort the tasks of that project and then finish it. Focus on it until it’s DONE.
Then move to the next project and Pereto out the steps to know what is going to get you 80% of the way to completion on that one.
Nothing is perfect. Let this flex.
I think you can see how this work. Nothing is perfect and you may have to flex this.
But, the point of it all for Jay Papasan is to help you discover The One Thing you should be focused on right now.
Tomorrow, I’m going to share with you, why it’s so important for us to discover that one thing.
Again, it’s a great book. I’ll put a link to it in the show notes at PDesmondAdams.com. Highly recommended. I started reading it after numerous people said the same thing. They were right. Check it out.
Call to Action
Pareto out today’s tasks … just as an experiment and then focus ONLY on those top items… with the highest one first. JUST THAT ONE THING
Tue, 2 June 2015
We all have regrets.
I believe we have more regrets as we get older, not just because we’ve experienced more in life and obviously we regret a certain number of those experiences, but also because we gain wisdom from our past regrets. This wisdom helps us better identify previous mistakes or regrets, and hopefully some potential future ones as well, keeping us from actually experiencing those.
We may have the same experiences in our memory, but now we’re wise enough to regret them.
There also may be repercussions as we get older that weren’t as obvious earlier in life.
Our children are a great example of this one. Over or under disciplining our children may not seem like an issue at the time, but the outcome in their lives will show up when they’re in their 20’s and, because you wanted to be the ‘cool dad, you didn’t teach them self-discipline.
Financial decisions may be another one that doesn’t really show up in a big way until you’re in your late 40’s and realize you really SHOULD have put something into your retirement account when that financial adviser told you.
So really, regrets are an indication of wisdom. Whether we’ve already had that wisdom and ignored it, or we developed the wisdom and now wish we had done something different.
Healthy Attitude tip 1:
Be grateful for your awareness of regrets. You’ve grown.
Imagine if you had done the same things, taken the same actions and ended up with the same results, but you had no regrets about it.
I think the “No Regrets” mantra is one born out of ignorance and sometimes even stubbornness.
We don’t want to ever admit we did something wrong, so we champion this “no regrets” thing.
There are websites devoted to tattoos that were meant to say “no regrets” but, ironically, they were misspelled. There’s even one featured in the movie “We’re The Millers” where the daughter introduces her new boyfriend who sports a tattoo on this chest that says “No Ragrets.”
Regret actions… but don’t let regret become part of your identity.
Analyse your regrets so you can clearly define where you took a bad turn. If you don’t know what you did that lead to your regrets, you won’t know what to avoid in the future. You may find yourself riddled with extreme caution and taking no action rather than taking well thought out and wise action.
I regret riding my bike down a giant dirt hill when I was 5 or 6 years old because it left me with a broken arm.
Healthy Attitude Tip 2:
Clearly chart the path to your past regrets. Don’t generalize.
You probably realize, your’e not the only one with regrets. We’ve all had them. But, we assume our regrets are worse or more consequential in life. But they're usually not. This is the downfall of today’s communities. We spend time with the fake families on TV and the filtered friends in social media, instead of gathering in our neighborhoods with other real people who can openly share of their mistakes.
One thing I don’t regret is being part of a faith community that didn’t gather every Sunday to hear one professional member of the community give a very entertaining prepared speech or sermon. In our community, we all gathered to talk about life, share food and enjoy some adult beverages. Conversations ranged from politics, careers, family, hobbies, and everything else. We all learned from each other’s REAL LIFE experiences.
They say there’s only one thing better than learning from your mistakes, that’s learning from someone else’s mistakes. The same lesson without the same pain. Seek the advice of those who are older and have wisdom. We’ve already said we can learn from regrets and we tend to have more (or be aware of more) of them when we get older.
So ask some people older than you, “What do you regret?”
What do you regret?
I would love to knwo what regrets you may have in life and what you've learned from them. Would you Tweet it to me @PDesmondAdams and use the hashtage #successforfailures if you want to be able to track others who comment.
Sat, 30 May 2015
A recent poll by the American Psychological association indicates, the #1 stress inducer for Americans is money. It's not an abundance of money causing the problems, either. It's a lack of it.
This might hurt, but, the truth is, for most people, money issues are caused by spending more than you make.
Yes, I know, you may have lost your job prematurely
Yes, you may have had some surprise medical bills
Yes, there are a number of items which may have hurt you financially
Most of us are struggling financially because we’re spending more than we make. That's always been the case for me, when I've been struggling with money. Honestly, you'll have to answer this for yourself, but I have yet to meet someone, who was completely honest with themselves, who didn't have a major part in their money problems.
Even if you’ve been hit with a surprise bill, the truth is, we (myself included) didn’t have the money to pay it because we spent more than we made and didn’t have the money to save for those unexpected expenses.
So let’s talk about spending less than we make.
There are a lot of budgets out there. From a standard spreadsheet to a specialty app for our phone or computer. The Mint app is available in the iTunes App store and in Google Play. But, it's great for seeing where you money went, but it won't do much to keep it going where you've told it to go.
But, I’m going to give you the absolute easiest system available.
The envelope system
Before we talk about this, I want to stress with you, involve those who will be impacted. Your spouse and kids will need to be on board from the very beginning if you want to make this budget work.
The biggest reason a budget won’t work… You underestimate what you’re going to spend. So, take a moment and look at your previous bank statements to see what’s been going out. But, remember, this doesn’t set the number but it tells you where you’re at right now. It gives you a ballpark number.
From this ballpark number, you'll be able to look at where you need to tighten your belt and were you need to possibly loosen it and budget for more.
If you’ve been spending $800 a month in groceries, but when you set up your budget, you write down $500, you're probably setting yourself up for failure. That’s pretty unrealistic
Here’s what you do:
Pay the fixed costs
Rent or Mortgage
Other debt with a minimum payment.
Get all of those figured out and pay them immediately.
Put something away into savings. Do it NOW. You can’t avoid the fixed costs, but you CAN adjust the variables we’re about to go into. Make sure you take BABY STEPS in your effort to get yourself where you WANT to be.
The balance will be taken out of the bank in cash and distributed among some envelopes
You will have to evaluate frequently. For example:
Groceries (this may have to adjust)
Gas Money (this may have to adjust)
Clothing (don’t spent it ALL… remember Back-to-School)
Annual Expenses (Vehicle Registration, Maintenance, Holiday Gifts)
Travel or Vacation
Hopefully this all helps you get to the point where you have a basic budget that allows you to tell your money what to do, rather than it telling you what you can or can't do.
Budgets work if you make them realistic.
Thu, 28 May 2015
So much pressure… LIFE purpose. We think this is the meaning of our entire life.
This episode is inspired by a conversation between Lewis Howes of the School of Greatness Podcast and Jay Papisan, the author of The One Thing.
When I was 20, my life purpose was much different than it is now.
Don’t confuse the 50,000 foot view with the 1,000 foot view.
The higher you go, the less defined the image.
Think about a picture of earth from the International Space
Can you make out your state? Your city? Your neighborhood?
But RIGHT NOW, you have to go pick your kid up from school.
What I have to do RIGHT NOW is different from what i have to do in life.
My International Space Station view says my purpose is to love.
Think about it as a cone.
My life purpose is the tip.
The further I get from that, the more wiggle room I have.
What I have to do today, should be in the direction of that tip… love, but it doesn't have to BE the tip.
Like a compass, choose your next step based on where it’s pointing.
As long as you have that arrow defining “NORTH” or “YOUR PURPOSE”, you can explore. Just stay moving in that direction.
What will you do today? This week? This year?
What do you want to do in the next 5 years. (these goals change).
Reset every day, every week, every month.
But keep the compass in your hand so you know if you’ve gotten off course.
But don’t be afraid to explore.
Wed, 27 May 2015
"Do the insignificant consistently and it becomes something significant."
Here are the five things I would teach my younger self:
1. Success doesn’t come from extraordinary ideas. Instead it comes from extraordinary consistency.
2. Don’t chase money, instead pursue your soul’s desire.
3. Focus on one thing until it’s done.
4. Save whatever you can on a regular basis. It doesn’t have to be huge. Just $10 a paycheck would have made a huge difference. It’s not really about the money, it’s about the discipline of doing it.
5. Exercise regularly - Again, it’s not about being a muscle-head, it’s about the discipline
Tue, 26 May 2015
I heard Jay Papasan, the author of The One Thing, share an old Russian Proverb that says, "If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one."
This is what so many of us, myself included, do each and every day. We spend our saying chasing after two, three, four, or even more rabbits. At the end of the day, we feel exhausted and demoralized having not accomplished our goal.
Define and focus on achieving The One Thing you need to do each day.
Make it a habit for yourself or your entire team (if you have one), to define and celebrate the accomplishment of The One Thing you need to do today.
Too often, we feel like we're losing and not accomplishing much because we focus too far down the road. Paint a finish line just a few steps down the street and celebrate crossing it. Then paint another one and celebrate again.
Have your finish lines clearly marked. Celebrate when you cross them.
CALL TO ACTION:
Define today's ONE THING.
Celebrate it's accomplishment.
Find out what fear is holding you back from achieving your goals:
Mon, 25 May 2015
In this episode, we're going to get a little personal a very deep into our belief systems surrounding our own identity.
This episode is going to challenge you and help you grow in a big way.
The best part is, I'm going to show you how to turn this negative power into a positive so others will be treating you like royalty.
I'd really love to have your feedback, please tweet me @pdesmondadams
Fri, 22 May 2015
Most people have seen and even used the Podcast app that comes preinstalled on your iPhone, or you've used Stitcher Radio on your Android.
In this episode, I'm going to share with you a few other podcast player apps which you may not know about yet. These are ones which came highly recommended by other podcasters, so you know they're going to meet the needs of most listeners.
I'll be sharing about the following:
Overcast - iOS w/ Apple Watch support
Free to use with additional features unlocked for $4.99
Podcast Addict - Android - w/ Android Ware support
Free with a small banner ad which can be removed for $2.99
Downcast - iOS & Mac
Pocket Casts - iOS, Android & Windows Phone